We talk like this:

(After a long conversation on whether or not a girl in our ward has masculine features)

"This makes me feel good about myself."

"You should always feel good about yourself, but not SO good that you leave me for another attractive man."

"I would never leave you for a more attractive man!"

"Did I say MORE? No. Equally attractive."

"I would never leave you for a more, less or equally attractive man."

"Less? I'm leaving you, Travis for a less attractive man. That makes no sense."

"On account of, whoever they are they probably wouldn't do the dishes because they know I hate dishes."

"Definitely not."

"Or be super cool."

"No way."

"Or taste like the ocean after basketball."

"Nope, that is a Travis-only feature."

"I believe it."

"You've heard of trophy husbands? I'm a collector's edition husband. For a limited time only, TRAVIS, who tastes like the ocean when he's sweaty."

This is us wearing Umbrella Hats on the 4th of July. Picture by Mom Pitcher.