Showing posts with label rain. Show all posts
Showing posts with label rain. Show all posts

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Hallelujah

This is where I've been sitting.
In my doorway, where I can see, smell, hear, taste, and touch the rain. And yes, that is a pot of freshly made chocolate frosting with graham crackers next to it.
Why not indulge in some comfort food while feeling so comfortable?


This is the view of the sky from my doorway. And just below the sky is the view of my wet and pretty street. This pictures aren't exactly professional-photographer-worthy, right? They are for Travis who is at work and does not have a window.
But he does have a mac.
Travis and I learned how to spell hallelujah on Sunday.
We both tried several times before looking it up in the Bible Dictionary and then we both practiced writing it in speech bubbles over the cartoon people drawn on the back of our church program.


If any type of weather deserves a hallelujah (correctly spelled), it is this gorgeous rain.
Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Praise ye the Lord!
Today is highly perfect.

edit: This blogpost now has a part two:
PART TWO:
My computer does amazingly well choosing rainy day music.
Yes, it even chose Hallelujah, which was in fact why I decided to title my post by that name.
Here is the mix that it created and which I am listening to currently:

Get a playlist! Standalone player Get Ringtones


Friday, May 22, 2009

becky's list of things that make her terribly happy


we've all seen these all over the internet.
i made the decision NOT to make one.

okay... I'm not entirely sure why. it was one of those things on principal. you know, the rockstar diaries encouraged everyone to write one, so i would not.
everyone else would.

shut it. i know it doesn't make any sense. and these are certainly all things you already know. and they're pretty cliche. i think they make most people happy.

so here is my list of ten things that make me terribly happy:

1. rain: the on and off all day kind, the it's still sunny somehow kind, the intensely strong, loud, and powerful thunder-filled kind. all kinds.

2. wind: wind, wind, wind, the same as rain. all kinds.

3. when babies laugh, and their toes curl up, and they can't stop giggling and no one knows exactly why.

4. the beginning of the seasons: the first snow fall of winter, the first robins of spring, the first staggering, too-hot to handle day of summer, the first time you eat squash for dinner in the fall.

5. my sisters: mary, lisa, kathryn. they are all so smart, so funny, so beautiful. i miss them.

6.
my brother: jack and me, we are the same. except maybe he's smarter.

7. music: you know when an old song comes on and it wells up in your chest, bringing memories with it? or when you sing loud and off-key with your friends? or the way a hymn can suddenly make so much sense, even though you've heard it a thousand times before?

8. pictures: art, old photographs, little drawings by toddlers, homemade movies, and the way taking a picture of something immortalizes it. i can't get enough.

9. pulling something warm, fresh, and perfectly done from the oven: cookies, cakes, homemade pizza, potatoes, pork roast any one?

10. words: writing them, reading them, getting lost in them. finding them, understanding them, becoming part of them. if I could be a writer for the rest of my life, I would be happy. if I could somehow make money by writing this blog, I would be forever content. if I could devour a new book every week, it could never be enough.

oops. I have to have eleven.

11. my friends: my friends from home, from school, from my family. I love finding the perfect gift for them, especially for no reason, genuinely surprising them, being a good listener to them, seeing them happy (especially giddy in love happy), knowing I can always turn to them, getting a call or text from them. HAVING them. I love them.



also, (I can't stop myself! everything makes me happy) I decided that because those were all things that were big and obvious (sisters, friends, music?) I am making another tiny list down here of all the little things that make me happy. it's even in little font, with a little picture.
1. quoting things
2. silly kissing
3. reading aloud (especially poetry or children's books)
4. riding my bike to the store, and coming back with fruit in my basket
5. listening to summer sounds out the open window
6. going home
7. introducing my friends to something I love
8. freshly laundered sheets (cool and fresh, not warm and staticky)
9. falling asleep with someone else next to me
10. lemon tea with milk and sugar from an actual teacup, not a mug
11. dresses with pockets

I added eleven, because I had eleven on the other one.

speaking of sister-Lisa, and things that make us happy, you can read HER list here.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

As soon as it stops raining

we head outside.

The afternoon is spent in the shallow, choppy water, pushing over exposed sandbars.
The evening is spent on the couch or in the kitchen.

The night?

I guess it's spent inside, because we were wandering around for two hours to no avail.
We found 1 music venue: the Jewish Mother.
The show was an afrobeat band, and it was an eighteen dollar cover charge.

That appears to be the only place in town (excepting bars) that is open past nine.
We considered just going into a bar, and not ordering anything, just lurking creepily, and doing something (anything) besides sitting inside.

But that would also be sitting inside. So we chickened out.

Now we're home again.
Skype me? rebeccah.louise

I can't IM anymore, because I don't know my sn or my password, and its no longer saved into my computer.
I am bored.
Contact me.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

where you're supposed to be

It never occurred to me when I was younger that I wouldn't settle down in Minnesota.
But not just Minnesota. I planned on settling down in Buffalo.
I would go to school in Utah, and get hitched. The two of us would spend several years living in California, New York, Washington, and Europe. Then we would settle down in my hometown, and I would teach English at my old high school.
We would raise children the same way I was raised: ice skating, swimming, boating, and fishing on the lake. Baseball and grilled food in the summer. Snow forts, and days off school in the winter. Small schools where my kids were among a half-dozen Mormons.
That was the plan.
Today I was talking to Lauren, and I realized, that plan is long dead.
Yes, I HATE Provo. I hate the pollution, the mountains, the desert, the cityness of it all. I cannot raise my kids here.
But sometime in the last two years, Buffalo stopped being my home. I cannot raise my kids there, either. Buffalo was still my home when I went back for Christmas halfway through my freshman year. But when I returned two months later for foot surgery, it was not.
My house was my house, and the city was the same, but the lights all went out at nine, and there was no where to go out if you weren't fifteen. Had I never noticed this before?
My friends were all gone, off at college, where I wanted to be. I saw Eli, Brad, Mariah, and Burns. Sometimes.
But mostly, I realized that the thing I loved specifically about Buffalo was the people.
I have changed too much to be content in that small town.

I never minded that Taco Bell, Taco Johns, House of Lo, and Aloha Chinese were the only foreign food restaurants in town. Look again. ALOHA Chinese? It doesn't make sense.
But now that I live on Thai and Indian food I don't want to go back to Chinese buffets.

AND First Ave is also the only real music venue around. It's an hour away, and these are the bands playing tomorrow night: TWIZTID, DETROIT COBRAS, ALL THE PRETTY HORSES, RITMO CALIENTE, THE BUNGALOW .
As someone who now spends a good deal of time and money at music venues and concerts, I don't think I'd be fully satisfied with Mr. Walsh's Christmas Program.

I don't go to Art museums every day. It would be a lie to say so. But I have been to a couple, and over the last seven months I have gone to Gallery Stroll every month. I watched foreign movies all the time, whether with my friends, or at the International Cinema and Buffalo has no such programs. Buffalonians like to think of themselves as open-minded hippi-types. (yeah they do).
But they are not.

So I thought to myself, I can just live in St. Paul or Minneapolis. They have foreign food, art, and music. I'm not stuck in a super small town.
But then I'm in a city. Which I hate. Then I'm living in a humid, polluted, and slightly scary place, that might as well be any humid and polluted city.
Part way through my freshman year, I started thinking about Washington. I could live in Seattle, or in a small town near Seattle, where my kids could be in a small town, but we'd be close enough to art museums, and Indian food that I could be happy.

Somehow that dream can exist in Seattle, but not in St. Louis Park.
I want nothing more than to go back where I don't need these things. Honestly, I just want to be happy in Buffalo, because without Buffalo I don't have a home.
Can't I be happy anywhere else?

Monday, May 4, 2009

I'm remembering water

Virginia is wet, and I love it.

The air is thick and humid.
REALLY thick. REALLY humid.

Hits you in the face like mist when you're walking.

It rains here all the time.
It's sunny and hot and beautiful one minute, and there's a thunderstorm the next minute.

Today when we were watching tv it started to rain.
"What is that noise?" Lauren asked.
"That's rain," I said, muting the tv.
"Rain doesn't sound like that."

Have we really been in Utah so long that the sound of rain is foreign?
We opened the garage door and stood to watch the rain, and I heard words I haven't heard in ages: "tornado warning."
Huzzah! It's been too long. I've missed you, extreme weather.

Travis said, "How do you like the ocean?"
"I love the ocean," I said.
"Cultivate that love," said Travis, and then I mocked him. Cultivate that love. Really.
Everyone loves the ocean, and if they don't then they are crazy. The ocean is just like a big, salty lake, and we all know I'd rather be in a lake than on solid ground.
And most people should feel that way, if you're asking me.

All I'm saying is, I miss some of the people in Utah, but I don't know how I'll ever make it back there after I get to remember first-hand what it's like to NOT be in a desert.

Monday, April 27, 2009

“Where’s home for you?”

It’s the first thing she’s said to me on the entire flight. The wheels touch down on to the runway.
“Here,” I say. That’s when I start to cry. I don’t cry for too long, either. Just a minute and just a little. I didn’t cry at all when we were losing altitude and I needed to pull out my journal to write down everything I saw.

Adventures in the Minneapolis Airport; Part One
Here’s what I wrote:
The clouds are all level, and it’s like looking down on a glass table top, with little piles of melting whipped cream sitting on top, or ice floating on a perfectly clear lake.
I notice the lakes; how could I not? They’re large and sprawling, strangely shaped, like half a muddy footprint filled in by the rain. Paul Bunyan was here for Lumberjack Day.
The horizon is blue, varying shades stacked on top of each other, uninterrupted by ugly, dirty mountains. The world goes on forever here, and I am not trapped in a right side up bowl.
Water towers. I see them before I notice anything else, and it brings me the closest to crying so far. After I see one, I see a dozen through the same small window. They stick up from the earth like squat skyscrapers, with bubbly heads, steely blue, or off-white, and I wonder for the first time where the rest of the world stores their water.
And baseball diamonds. They are everywhere. The reddish color of the dirt stands out from the greenish blue of everything else. They are everywhere; I count nine before I stop looking. I love baseball. I have always been only mediocre when playing, but if there is a place in America that loves its patriotic sport, it’s the Midwest.
Everything is in patches; there are patches of dark green trees, and almost square patches of emerald fields. There are patches of houses, and patches of city. Winding roads dart around everything, like a garter snake, unable to run straight, because they’d interrupt something. As we get closer to the ground, I can see that lakes aren’t the only water, and every bit of land not filled with buildings or trees is filled in. Little ponds, and little lakes. I count eight out my window, just on the airport grounds.
The pilot announces that it is forty degrees with twenty mile per hour wind, and I relish the thought. I want to get out and breath in the air, but my layover is only three hours, and an hour of that would have to be spent checking back in.

Adventures in the Minneapolis Airport; Part Two
I’m off the plane now. I can’t get the internet, so I won’t publish this until after I’m in Virginia.
Every time I look out the window, I have to tell myself “the sky in Utah sometimes looks like that. There’s nothing to cry about.” Or “There is nothing special about that road, just because it’s in Minnesota doesn’t make it better than other roads.”
I am sure about one thing though: the air. I feel suffocated in Utah, because the air is so dusty and so dry, but even in this building I already feel that I can really breathe. This is wet, cold air. It soothes the throat as soon as you suck it in.
Lana said, “The air in Arizona is like a big blanket.”
“A big down blanket that wraps you up, and tries to shove its corner down your throat to suffocate you,” said I. Maybe that was too cynical.
Maybe it was not cynical enough. I cannot seem to describe how much I hate Arizona. People are never willing to accept that my hate is genuine. Arizona is the anti-Christ to Minnesota. You cannot love the Lakers and the Jazz, right?
Right now a balding man with a toothpick in his mouth is taking a picture of a giggling group of Asian girls. They’re standing behind me, their arms wrapped around Snoopy in his bomber jacket and scarf.
Most of the people here are not native. Everyone in the history of airplanes seems to have a layover in Minnesota, but every now and again I catch a hint of a Minnesotan accent in someone passing by. I am doing very well, not crying, thank you very much.
But I am passing signs with loons on them, and the Twins logos. Lord. Why can’t I handle this? It’s the first time I’ve been here in over a year. I could probably claim Utah as soon as Minnesota.
But I don’t want to.
I love it here. This is home.
Here is home.

Adventures in the Minneapolis Airport; Part Three
“Excuse me,” I address the bent man behind the podium labeled Traveler’s Assistance.
“Yes?” he peers at me, a grin stretched across his face, and the phrase Minnesota Nice hits me kindly in the throat.
I cough it out. “I’m not sure if you’re who I ask,” I say. “But do you know if there’s a Culver’s in the airport?”
He shakes his head, as if he were as disappointed as me.
“No, no Culver’s and no Cinnabuns either.”
“No kidding?” I say, “this is just like a giant mall, you’d think the first thing they’d build would a Cinnabun!”
This is the type of polite and pleasant banter that strangers elsewhere do not participate in.
“Well, they had ‘em, and then a few years ago, they ripped them all out.” He shakes his balding head. “And there aren’t any Culver’s either.”
“Well, that’s too bad, I haven’t been in the Midwest in long time, I could really go for some frozen custard.”
“There’s always DQ.” I smile because I only ever hear people call it DQ in Minnesota.
“Yeah, but there are DQs everywhere,” I say.
There is a moment of silence, before the man looks up at me. Surprise in the corners of his eyes.
“There aren’t Culver’s everywhere?” he asks.
“Nope,” I say. “They’re just out here. I live in Utah and I’ve been going crazy for Culvers.”
He shakes his head, this final blow even more disappointing than the lack of Cinnabuns in the airport.
“I suppose they’ve never even heard of cheese curds out there,” he mumbles.
And I start to laugh, because not a month goes by that I don’t introduce someone in Utah to the novel idea of cheese dipped in batter, then deep-fried. Sold at carnivals, and the best of restaurants.
“Most of them haven’t,” I say. We both smile sadly, chuckle a little, and I turn to find food elsewhere.

Adventures in the Minneapolis Airport; Part Four
I did eventually find food. Deciding I’d rather spend five dollars and an hour of my time in a real restaurant, over five dollars and twenty minutes eating fast food that that will drive me to illness, I approach the hostess at one of several restaurants.
“Dinner for one?” she asks, and I say yes out loud, to prove to myself its not weird.
I had decided on the flight here to eat in a restaurant by myself, to prove that I could, and that I wasn’t scared of the idea.
I also made myself promise to act like a grownup and not read a book. I would sit, and eat my food like a normal human being. Because if I distracted myself from the fact that I was eating alone, my entire purpose would be defeated.
I am led to an area of the restaurant, filled with little tables, and few chairs. I can tell, this is the “Dinner for One” section.
I order a five-dollar salad, ordering myself to believe that it is better than the meatball sandwich and fries for the same price because it is healthier. I type away at my computer while I wait for the food, jotting down notes about the airport.
When the waiter returns with my food, I put away my laptop, and don’t look at what he’s brought me until he has left. When I do look at my food, I laugh. For real, out loud.
And people lean out from their booths to see the crazy, disheveled looking girl sitting in the “Dinner for One” section, laughing.
I was laughing for two main reasons, first: There is romaine lettuce, chopped up with chicken, cheese, and tomatoes, seeming like a perfectly normal and healthy salad. But stacked vertically on top of the greens is a tower of battered and deep-friend onion rings, and in case you weren’t sure if you had officially entered hick town yet, there is no dressing, but instead, barbeque sauce has been dumped over all of it.
That is the first reason: the onion rings and barbeque sauce. The second reason: that I looked at that weird food, and I found it totally appetizing.
I ate the entire salad and was grateful that it was so big, because I was so hungry. But I didn’t realize that I was a small town hick right down to my thrift store purse until I said to the waiter, with all sincerity and honesty, “thank you, that was the best salad I’ve ever had.”
Oh lord. It was. That’s what worries me.

Friday, April 3, 2009

i wish the rain in utah was full of thunder and lightning

I stole this picture from my sister Lisa's blog. She took it.

Last night, I spent several hours in the rain.

"You know, we're the coolest people ever," said Travis.
"Who?" I asked.
"Us."
"You and I are the coolest people ever?"
"Look at us!" he said, "We're out in the rain, passing out fliers for Gallery Stroll."

Yeah we were.
In the rain.
For like two hours.

If you are in Provo, come to Gallery Stroll tonight, and you might win a glimpse of the two coolest people ever.
(travis and i.... come on!)

Also, please check out this video that Chris posted on his blog. EVERYONE will appreciate this. I promise. it's wonderful.

Sunday, December 14, 2008

if you were confused

I changed my other blog from rebeccah-louise.blogspot.com to rebeccahlouise.blogspot.com

see? no dash.

sorry for the confusion. I just like it better the other way.

check it out if you haven't recently:
it's raining today and i love you