The Goose That Lays the Golden Eggs

They keep it upstairs.

We know it.
They must.

Because all day long, and all through the night there is the thumping-pounding-stomping of giants upstairs.
We made the mistake of going up there to tell them to be quiet.

Please, said Lauren, the first time someone went up, Please, stop playing DDR at 3 in the morning, whilst wearing weights tied to your feet and standing on the table. We need to sleep. The ceiling fan is shaking in my room and the living room. Oh, and in all the rooms in the apartment.

Oh, well, said the skinny, noisy-footed giant. We're a really social apartment.

* * *

Please, said Becky, when she went upstairs, stop that god-forsaken hammering at 12:30 in the morning on a Monday night. Some of us need to do our homework, and then get to bed.

And the dripping wet giant banging a hammer on the floor over our kitchen yelled, WE JUMPED IN THE POOL WEARING OUR CLOTHES FOR FHE!!

That's so wonderful, said Becky, losing her patience. What are you doing?

Hammering, said the skinny, noisy-footed giant. Then she shut the door.

* * *

Please, Lana said when she finally went up last week. Please, stop jumping from your couch to floor to annoy us, the ceiling over our kitchen is sagging dangerously low, and we believe it is from all your jumping and intentionally-loud stomping about. I cannot cook, for plaster of the ceiling is falling into my soup. I cannot see for the lights in our house are flickering, and one in the kitchen has gone out forever.

Oh my! gasped a open-mouthed Utah giant, Oh, are we too loud? I'm so sorry. We'll try to keep it down.

* * *

Guess what. That was lie.
But now those thumping-pounding-stomping giants are in for it, because Lauren and Lana decided to plant some magic beans, and we're breaking through their floor.

We're stealing their Golden Eggs.
and probably their harp.