In defense of Mormons (myself included)

I am not brainwashed. I am capable of forming my own opinions.

And when my opinions align with the opinions of my church I don’t appreciate people telling me that I am “blindly following whatever you're told to do” as I was recently accused of doing.

I was also informed that I do not follow any of Jesus Christ’s teachings and that my personal goal is to take away the rights of blacks and gays.

Thank you for informing me of my personality and goals.

This is not okay.

And what I’m looking for in this post isn’t a bunch of comments saying things like “Oh Becky, you totally follow Christ. You’re a good person.”

I am looking to clear the air.

We’ll begin with me apparently trying to take away the rights of others. I suppose that means that I am at fault for Prop 8 being voted through twice.

Fine. Even though I didn’t vote, donate money or spend time in call centers trying to convince others over the phone… I will take responsibility for that. I am not bothered by this.

Less than 13% of the Californian population is Mormon. That means that if every Mormon voted for Prop 8 and every non-Mormon voted against it, Prop 8 would have failed by 87%.

But it didn’t.

Yes, Mormons had something to do with that. Yes, members of the Mormon church donated their personal time and money to trying to pass a law they believe in.

But surely we can’t take all the credit.

And yet, of the 39% of the rest of the Pro-Prop 8ers, no one seems to be harassed to the same extent that we were and are.

If Mormons stand up and say, “We believe that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God” that is not secret code for “We hate Gays and so does God.”

We do not hate gays. Most of us don’t even dislike gays. Sure, when hordes of screaming homosexuals spray paint rude, profane and frankly bigoty things on our homes and churches we feel uncomfortable and maybe (quite understandably) afraid for our lives.

But I have yet to hear a Mormon say “Gays are evil. Gays are wrong. Gays do not deserve the same rights as us.”

We don’t preach or practice those doctrines.

Most Mormons, myself included, believe that being Gay isn’t something you can control. We don’t even see being Gay as being a sin, since God doesn’t punish you for things you can’t control.

In fact, nearly every Mormon I’ve spoken to about this has expressed grief for the hardships that homosexuals endure. Because, yes, we do believe Sodomy is a sin. And we understand that to be attracted to someone and never be able to act on it may be one of the hardest trials to live through on earth.

But we also believe that people are blessed for living the way that God wants them to.

I know that probably makes Gays angry (and yet I will try not to inform you of how you feel, since I know that I hate being told by others how I feel.). I have had several people yell at me, or to others near me or write nasty things on my blog.

So be it. As long as you’re angry because we pity you or we grieve with you or we wish we could help you understand where we are coming from.

And you’re not angry because, as you seem to believe, we hate you.

Especially me, apparently.

Guess what, Mormons are used to persecution. We know what it’s like for people to pass laws specifically to spite us. We were driven from the United States and were forced to form our own little community in Utah where people would stop burning down our houses and killing our children. We kept moving to places people didn’t want, like a swamp or a desert, hoping –just maybe—that people would leave us alone.

But still you won’t. Our churches are still being burned down.

People are accusing us of being unaccepting, unloving bigots.

Do you know what a bigot is? “A bigot is a person obstinately or intolerantly devoted to his or her own opinions and prejudices, especially one exhibiting intolerance, irrationality, and animosity toward those of differing beliefs.”

A bigot is not someone who has different beliefs than you. A bigot is someone who is irrational, intolerant, and obstinately devoted to their own opinions.

I have yet to see those qualities exhibited by the Mormon church or individuals in the case of Gay rights.

And yet, when I go to Salt Lake people on the corner yell at me and hold up a sign that says “Go to Hell, Mormons.”

We are not the bigots in this situation.

And the part about me taking away the rights of blacks… I don’t even know what that could possibly mean. I have no refute because I have never even heard the rumor that Mormons think white people are a cut above the rest of the world or that we deserve more rights.

Which is good, since Travis and I went to several Mormon churches in Africa and there certainly weren’t any whites besides us there.

And one would assume that Africans would not follow the teachings of an anti-black, pro-white church unless they were being forced somehow.

And even then, I think they’d have some problems.

In case I have not made myself clear (although I’m pretty sure that I have), I try every single day to follow the teachings of Jesus Christ.

Examples include, loving, accepting and trying to help those around me, understanding principles before “blindly” following them, and making an effort help others understand what I believe, but not forcing them to follow or agree with me.

The church recently released a statement concerning the Prop 8 ruling.

It is short, I encourage you all to read it and determine if it is in anyway hateful, rude, condescending or even negative at all. Especially if it follows the rules of bigotry, is it exhibiting or encouraging intolerance, irrationality, and animosity toward those of differing beliefs?

If you are a reader who is angry with this post and want to leave me a mean comment, please do. However, I ask that you do not leave an unrelated, sarcastic comment like “How weird that people want rights” or “Bizarre how angry people get when you treat them unfairly.” I have gotten those comments before.

I am actually interested in a legitimate opinion concerning something I’ve written, not in an angry tirade that is mostly unrelated to what I’m talking about.

I hope you all have a very nice day, even (and maybe especially), if you are Gay.

(p.s. We don’t practice polygamy in the Mormon church. Stop accusing us of it.)

Being Mormon

I forget what it’s like to be a Mormon.
I forget that we’re different, peculiar even, anywhere outside of Utah.
In Provo I’m just another leaf on the tree, and believing in Christ doesn’t set me apart, it helps me blend in.

But I am different.
Here I feel it.
All our friends go out and have a glass of wine at dinner, and we don’t. They ask us why.
Travis says he lived in Argentina for two years on a mission trip and they ask why.
They say, get used to a lot of handshakes in Kenya and we say, we’re very good at handshaking because of our own culture. Why?
We say, Oh, we’re mormons.

I forget that it comes up every single day outside of Utah. And that saying “We’re mormons” isn’t enough because then they want to know:

Do you eat any barley or is it just beer you don’t drink? Do you drink caffeine? Are you against birth control? What exactly makes you different from other Christian religions? Do they just send you out on missions with a Bible and a good luck?
Our Muslim friend asked about our schedule and beliefs concerning prayer.
An agnostic friend wanted to discuss the nature of God and the spirit of the law, versus the letter of the law.
And after I was feeling a little guilty, like maybe they’re all sick of hearing about our beliefs or they feel like we’re judging them for drinking one girl said “I’m glad that you came, even for just two weeks. Before you came God was just a running joke. I didn’t feel like I could keep my religion here. ”

And a line of scripture came to me. Remember the worth of souls is great in the sight of God.
And I thought, I cannot stop being a mormon, or toning down my mormon-ness to make people feel more comfortable. I need to remind them, even if just through my own belief that God is real, that someone out there cares about them.
It's weird to think that maybe me being more makes people feel less uncomfortable.

I guess that’s what I miss most in Utah. I miss feeling like God can use me for something.
If he needs a tool in Provo to work a miracle or save a soul or just say a kindly word, he has hundreds of people to do it. People more qualified than me.
But in Kilfi, if he wants someone to feel like maybe it’s okay to be a Christian, or be reminded that there is a greater power than them in the world, or just discuss and ponder God…
he can use me.

My bishop isn’t here, my good roommates aren’t here, my entire University isn’t here.

Only I am.

And I like when it’s only me. Or, you know, me and Travis. Because that’s when I remember that we aren’t like other people and we don’t want to be.

We want to be like Christ.

Mormon.org

Hope and happiness and joy

A few months ago the Visiting Teaching lesson was on Personal Scripture study.
It was very sweet and after hearing my companion Sarah teach the lesson three different times, I started to think "Maybe I should try to read my scriptures, since that is something I am very bad at remembering to do."
So I've been trying.
Trying, mind you, not always suceeding.

But when I do set aside the time in the morning, I usually read a chapter from the Book of Mormon (get one for free here!) and then an article from the Ensign. Being as this month the Ensign is filled with talks from General Conference, I find this to be particularly wonderful.

Today I read these words:
Hope and happiness and joy are not products of circumstance but of faith in the Lord.

I cannot stop rereading it.
I am not happy merely because my life is good, or because I have a job, or because I have a perfect-for-me husband (though trust me, all those thing contribute) but one by one those things could disappear.
The only thing that would keep me happy then, and what keeps me happy now, is the gospel of Christ.

Today it is snowing, so I found this scripture to be especially apt as well:
Remember, remember that it is upon the rock of our Redeemer who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation; that when the devil shall send forth his might winds, yea, his shafts in the wirlwind, yea, when all his hail and his mighty storm shall beat upon you, it shall have no power to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which you are built, which is a sure foundation, whereon if men build they cannot fall.

I would highly recommend reading this conference talk if you have some time. It will only take about ten minutes, and even if you're not Mormon, it is beautiful to read. You know I don't often ask you to read these sort of things, and although I have a strong testimony of Christ, I hardly ever mention it on my blog for fear of turning people away.
But this is worth it.

If you're feeling down, or maybe cold and wet from the unexplicable snowfall outside, this will help you feel better.
I'm sure of it.

Measure of Creation

Since it is Sunday and I am a good little Mormon girl I want to write about something appropriate to the Sabbath.
Actually, to be honest (since it is Sunday), I would want to write about this whatever the day. I had a thought and I want to share it.
First, just a basic bit of info, Mormons believe that we have agency, which is a fancy word for freedom of choice. Mormons also believe that by using this agency well (making good decisions) we will be happier. Mormons do not believe that animals have free agency in the same way humans do.
This always bothered me because I thought that meant that animals could not be happy.
But I've seen happy little animals.
Yesterday I heard it expressed that "God created animals that they might have joy in fulfilling the measure of their creation."
SO animals are happy because they are animals. A badger is happy because he is a badger, and the more badgery he is, the happier he will be. If he is forced to live in a nest, or hang out with ducks he will not be as happy, but if he lives in a hole in the ground and can be grumpy all day, he will be happy all day.
This makes sense. Then I had a revelation. Of Course! I exclaimed. (but only in my mind, not aloud)
People are happiest when they fulfill their measure of creation, too. Since we were made after the image of God and are like God, we are therefore happiest when we are most Godlike. That doesn't just mean when we are good and honest, etc but also when we are creating things, loving those around us, and learning all that we can.
(I will keep narrowing this down. From all creations, to mankind, and from all mankind to WOMEN.)
Men and women are happiest when they act like Men and Women. Specifically.
Women can be happiest when they are learning, serving, nurturing, creating, building families. That doesn't mean that you have to be a housewife to be a happy woman, but we are on this earth to create and love our families, that is the measure of our creation. Thus by fulfilling that (by being a good daughter, sister, wife and mother) I can be happiest.

I can be happiest when I am doing what I was made to be doing.
Not just happy, but my absolute peak of happiness.
I feel like so many women look for things that can fulfill them and make them happy, but they look in things that cannot possibly fulfill them.
I know that I am always afraid that I will miss out on something important if I have kids too soon or get married too soon (too late for that last one, eh?) but there is nothing I can miss that would make me better or happier than my family.
Look at me now, I have more experiences and more chances with a husband than I would without. For example, I am going to Africa, which I would have never done on my own, plus, good news, now I don't have to go alone. I get to go with the person who I love most in the whole world.

I don't mean to offend any women, because I certainly don't mean that women can't do everything men can do and I don't mean that a woman's place is in the kitchen or any of that nonsense. I simply mean that God created men and women differently --equally, yes -- but differently.
And when women act like women, and God's children act like God, and when badgers act like badgers, well then... everyone and everything will be perfectly happy.