Sunday, June 6, 2010

Larger than Life

Everything is bigger in Texas.
But Kenya is bigger than Texas, so things here are bigger than things in Texas.
Today I bought two mangoes for 20 shillings each (like 30cents) and they're the size of three or four good-sized mangoes found in America.
They're like the sized of a small child's head.

The sun is definitely bigger and man! it can take it out of you. It just presses down all day. No wonder the African people have such dark skin. Put a sad little white girl out here and she looks like a piece of over-cooked bacon.
Travis made up a name for the shirt that it looks like I'm wearing when I'm naked. But I'm not allowed to tell you it.
I've said too much already.

The snakes are bigger in Kenya. At least, bigger than the snakes in Minnesota which are little and harmless. But Green Mambas are not harmless, nor are they a delicious candy treat. They're a common threat that I am now terrified of. I walk heavily and slowly on grass paths so that maybe I'll squash one if I accidentally step on it.

The monkeys here are bigger than the monkeys in the USA. (Non-existent) and they have have huge bright blue balls, which I find to be a very funny thing. I have seen them now. Maybe a dozen. I love them and want them to live with me, but I also fear that they are deceptively adorable and maybe actually are super mean and evil.

The bugs are bigger and the bug-bites more frequent. At least for me. NO ONE else that I talk to has had any bug trouble. I have about forty bug bites and YES I wear bug spray constantly. I get up in the middle of the night in a paranoid mosquito night terror and put more bug spray on, even though I'm in netting.
In fact, I've had a really hard time sleeping and wake up every few hours convinced that mosquitoes are all over me and they I lie there itching myself until I fall into fitful mosquito dreams.

The trees are bigger in Kenya. They are the size of jumbo 12 man tents. Like... maybe a dozen jumbo 12 man tents piled on top of each other.
That's the best comparison I can think of.

Hey family, I wish you were online right now. Why don't you get up in the wee hours of the night?

4 comments:

Mary said...

sounds like your perfect kenya has switched to a not so great, yet still awesome kenya :)

Polly said...

Hey, I was on the computer from midnight to 2 AM hoping to catch you on line. Did you know that the Green Mamba is also the name of the most awesome super monster car that breathes fire and eats other cars. It is the coolest thing uncle Matt has ever seen and he even has an autographed photo from The Green Mamba. Also, very deadly venom.

The Stanley's said...

They say mosquitos like carbon dioxide. I don't know where I heard that, but are you a mouth breather at night? :0 Just a thought.
I've never heard of blue balls before. You are a funny girl. I love you!

The Stanley's said...
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