Thursday, April 29, 2010

Kelsey N; I hope you read this

I loved my elementary school music teacher.
Worshiped. He was the coolest teacher ever, except (surprisingly) my gym teacher Mr. Kline who had a red beard and sometimes subbed for music class.
The two of them were equally amazing to me.

But my music teacher's name I don't remember. I do remember though that the name of his band was Waking Virginia. Which, as a 9 year-old was the best band name ever. I even remember that they called it Waking Virginia because they practiced late at night in the a garage and the street they lived on was Virginia Road (or street, lane, avenue, you know...)
I remember he LOVED the Beatles and he had us watch Yellow Submarine in class. I told myself I loved it because I loved him.
But really I thought it was confusing.

Now I think that it's not really for children, even if it's a cartoon.

But I never ever got caught reading in music class. That was the only class that I never got caught reading in.
Until reading week, that is, of fifth grade. (DUM DUM DUUUUUM)

It began like this, and my family will tell you that I tell lies or make things up and maybe as a nine year-old I exaggerated things (something I've outgrown) and have remembered wrong, but if I lie, I don't think I do. I remember the story like this, and it begins with one of the two Kelseys.

There were two girls named Kelsey in my grade. They were, of course, best friends for no reason other than their matching names.
One day, Kelsey N. said to me, "What do you do so that so many people like you?"
I said, always very self-righteous, "Nothing, I just do what I like. I like to read and I'm very good at it. Maybe people like me because I'm so good at reading."
This is the sort of thing that you think when teachers make you take a test and then go "Oh my! You read at a twelfth grade level!"
"Of course I do," you think to yourself, "I should be starting college next year I'm so smart."
Then you think that's probably why you have friends.

But Kelsey took that to heart. The next Monday was the beginning of Reading Week. You got to bring in a book and blanket and lie on the floor and read instead of work. It was the best week of the year.
Kelsey came in wearing a pin that said "I love to read." I thought, "that's stupid. Everyone loves to read."
Then she wrote on the white board with a red marker (I can still picture it exactly!) "It's I love to read week, so READ!!"
And I thought, "You're stealing my thing that I do, which is read all the time."

Throughout the week she carried around big looking books (that I had already read before, of course) and said things to people like "I love to read SO much," or "all I do all day is read," or "My mom has to ground me from books I like to read because I don't do other work."
and I thought "I will kill you, Kelsey N."
She got in trouble for reading under her desk.
Which was also MY thing.

Then one day, Scooter (a boy who I remember was named Scott) said to me, "Have you read the Harry Potter books?"
"Yeah," I said, "I read all three in just one day each over Christmas break" (back when there were only three).

"Wow," said Scooter, "You're almost as bad as Kelsey N."
And I blew my top.
Everytime Kelsey said, "I like to read" I would yell "I LOVE to read MORE THAN KELSEY N."
If Kelsey stayed in to read books instead of go to recess, so did I.
And when Kelsey pulled out her book secretly in the back of music class
so did I.

I remember how embarrassed I was when I was caught.
It wasn't like being caught reading in a normal class, because in a normal class I always felt secretly proud that I was reading under my desk.
But in music class I wanted to die. I wanted to curl up in a hole and die.
It was mortifying.
Because I loved my music teacher so very much.

And yet....
I wanted to be caught so that everyone would know, I was not almost as bad as Kelsey N.
Kelsey N. was almost as bad as me.

I think she outgrew that "reading" thing.
Sadly, I did not.
My mother often complains that she is the only woman in America who has to take books away from her children as punishment.
Jack has to get reading glasses because he'll read for so long that when he looks up he can't see anything far away.

The doctor said, "If you just take a break from reading every 20 or 30 minutes you wouldn't need glasses." But Jack said no.
Because in our family we read for 5-6 HOURS before taking a break.
Every twenty minutes?

How would you know what's happening in your book if you take a break every 20 minutes?

4 comments:

Jessica D. said...

My mom only got called into school once for my "misbehaving" and it was because I was reading under my desk when the stupid third grade teacher was trying to deal with the bad kids.

Also, tell your mom she's not alone. My mom would take my books away when she wanted to punish me too.

I'm sad that I can't read for fun as much as I used to. My summer reading list is ridiculous.

Kristine Mary said...

I remember our music teacher! I believe his names was Mr. Peterson. I will never ever forget when he made us watch the video! Oh the lovely memories of elementary school...

Lana said...

I like your stories even if they aren't real. Isn't that what we were supposed to learn from Big Fish and Folklore Class that it doesn't matter if a story is true or exactly true to be a meaningful and valuable story? Keep the confabulated stories coming. ps i miss you

Lana said...

Also I wonder if you had responded to the question: what do you do to make people like you so much with a "I'm a mormon" if a very different story would have followed.