Another little thing

I will not post my grades, because I know that you're all smarter than me...
blah blah blah so what if you get all As?

Buuuut, last semester I received the best grades of my college life so far.
I would like to say I got them despite the fact that I got married half-way through the semester but it would be more accurate to say that I got good grades because I was married half-way through the semester.

Just a tip for those of you struggling to get good grades: Tell your teachers that you are getting married. Act stressed out. Skip class often and then send your professors pathetic emails full of apologies. Go on a honeymoon. Find a bossy husband who tries to make you study.

Somehow, you will end up with As and Bs.

When I told my mother my grades (merely reading them aloud, not commenting on them or my methods of receiving them) all that she said was "I'm almost as proud as if you'd actually earned those grades."
How does she know me so well?
Ah, yes. That's right. She's my mama.