Howard, Howard, Howard, Howard, Howard

Howard: This better be good.
Vince: You know the black bits in bananas? Do you think they're tarantula eggs?

Today I was at Target, and what did I see? THE MIGHTY BOOSH ON DVD. Who knew such gloriousness existed here in the states? Certainly not I. It was funny because just on the way to Target Casey, Maude, and Erin were quoting the Mighty Boosh, and when Sophie said "You know I have all three seasons on my computer," the car went quiet, and then someone declared their jealousy, and I felt cool because I have them too.

So, because our good friend Lana introduced us to this brilliant British comedy after her hop across the pond, here are my ten favorite conversations (to say "quotes" would lead you astray):

Howard: I need something more, something to stimulate my mind tank. You know what I'm going to be? I'm going to be a writer.
Vince: As if you're going to be a writer. You haven't even got a pen!
Howard: You don't need a pen to be a writer.
Vince: I think you do.

Howard: That's not a novel. That's the scribblings of a retard, Vince.
Vince: They are novels. They're novelettes.
Howard: It's in crayon, you berk!

Gideon: Why have you got crumbs round your eye?
Howard: Oh, just me and Vince. Been playing a game.Crumb-eye. You have to get crumbs in each other's eye. And um.. winner gets a. . . rake.

Howard: I can't relax, 'cause of him over there. Dixon Bambridge. Look at him, swaning around. Ooh, I've been to the arctic. Everyone's playing trumpets and doing dances.
Vince: He's a man of action!
Howard: I'm a man of action! Given the right opportunity. What's he got that I haven't got?
Vince: A moustache.
Howard: What do you think this is I've got going on here?
Vince: As if that's a moustache! That's a cappichino stain.
Howard: How dare you! This is a least a mocca. Don't you being mocking my mocca. This a months hard grooming.

Howard: I've got a pilots license. Do I go on about it? No I don't.
Vince: You haven't got a pilots license.
Howard: Yes I have, I flew to work this morning.
Vince: No you didn't. You came with me. On the tram system.
Howard: That wasn't me.
Vince: What?
Howard: That was my double.
Vince: Double?
Howard: Joycee.
Vince: Joycee?
Howard: Joycee Banocheck.
Vince: Who are you now then, Howard or Joycee?
Howard: I don't even know that myself. That's the mystery.
Vince: I've got a double.
Howard: Why do you always have to have what I have?
Vince: Trisha.
Howard:You can't just have a double because I've got a double.
Vince: Can't I be Trisha?
Howard: I'm doing the double stuff.
Vince: Let Trisha come to life.

Howard: THAT is just making me feel physically sick. What is that gloomy racket?
Vince: That's the Human League.
Howard: That is electro-nonsense.
Vince: They're electro pioneers. They invented music!
Howard: Invented music. What was going on before them then?
Vince: That was just tuning up before them.
Howard: Are you aware of the music known as Jazz? Are you aware of Jazz music, the movement, of Jazz?
Vince: What do you keep going on about Jazz for?
Howard: Because its the most important art form of the twentieth century.
Vince: No one listens to Jazz, science teachers and the mentally ill. That's all Jazz is good for.

Girl: Who's that Jazz Creep?
Vince: Just a local simpleton.

Vince: You know why no ones ever worn two hats before?
Johnny Two-Hats: Why?
Vince: Because it looks freakish. You look like absolute idiot.
Johnny Two-Hats: Just stop dissing the hats. You're making me very cross, Vince.

Ol' Gregg: What you doing in my waters?
Howard: Just taking the air, you know. Not fishing.
Ol' Gregg: Then how come this hook's in my head, fool?
Howard: That's nothing to do with me.
Ol' Gregg: It's attached to your rod, mother-licker!
Howard: Don't kill me. I've got so much to give.
Ol' Gregg: Easy now, fuzzy little man peach. You ever drunk Baileys from a shoe?
Howard: What?
Ol' Gregg: You want to come to a club where people wee on each other?
Howard: No
Ol' Gregg: I'm going to hurt you.
Howard: Scuze me?
Ol' Gregg: I like you. What do you think of me?
Howard: I don't rightly know sir.
Ol' Gregg: Make an assesment!
Howard: I think you're a nice, modern gentleman.
Ol' Gregg: Don't lie to me boy!


Tommy: I have survived only by eating cheese, and as the saying goes, you are what you eat, and I'm freaking cheese! I have built up an enormous fatty deposit around my head. Much like a camel. But you can barely notice.