Besides being brutally tortured right now, I cannot think of anything worse than being awake, and even being tortured might be okay.
I literally have not slept in two days. I think I'm going to kill something.
It's so beyond terrible. I think I'm going to attribute it to the fact that two days ago I started taking Claritin, but when weighed, insomnia trumps allergies, and I will never have another Claritin as long as I live.
What the hell? I thought that sleeping was like riding a bicycle. Something you couldn't forget how to do, but I lie in bed, and cannot remember what to do. Should I be thinking so much? Should I pray for a third time? Should I try to focus on breathing? Should I stop crying because I'm so upset that I can't sleep?
If I have fallen asleep, then it's been to dreams in which I'm lying in bed unable to fall asleep.
Finally sometime before 4 this morning, after lying in bed for 2 1/2 hours I got up and read my scriptures for twenty minutes.
Then I prayed for a really long time. Then I cried for a good fifteen minutes. Then I laid in for another forty minutes or so. Alternately crying, praying for sleep, focusing my breathing, and putting together this blog post in my mind.
All while birds chirped outside, and the light outside my window grew brighter.
All I want is to go to sleep.
Why the f am I still awake?
p.s. It seems as though the lack of sleep is stressing me out and I have just been granted the worst breakout I've had since high school
3 comments:
I'd attribute the lack of sleep to being in a bed with a cousin in an unfamiliar place. I didn't sleep either. I slept much better the first night when I shared the bed with Kathryn, now that dad is here I have laid awake all night, plus Kathryn slept with us. I told her she had to sleep on the floor and I would make it nice and soft and she said I want to sleep somewhere high and soft, so I said she could sleep on the couch, and she said I want to sleep somewhere high and soft and big, aka my bed.
Oh Becky, I'm so sorry. I think Claritin is a big part of it actually. My brothers used to take it and they would get super jittery at night and couldn't sleep. Henry is an anxious sleeper in the first place, which made every night sound like the one you posted. I'm sorry you had to suffer through it! My brothers take Zyrtec now, if you want sleep and help with allergies. But I say stay far FAR away from Claritin. I love you!!!
I wonder if there is caffeine is Claritin? You sound like me when I drink coke too late in the day. Benedryl is supposed to be helpful for sleep. Does that help with allergies at all? So sorry sweetie. I bet you miss your bed at Grama's house. Love you!
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