I would so very much like to be a part of your protestacular,

Sparknotes is the best way to waste time ever.
This is why: They have links EVERYWHERE literally labeled "Procrastinate."
Okay, if you insist.
Today I found this article on how to NOT be an adult.
Sweet.

aDULLt entertainment

Save yourself. Now, now, now(!), before it’s too late.

Here’s the thing: You’re looking like an adult these days, you’ve got the same brain capacity as adults, but you haven’t yet picked up the slew of adult habits that make adults so… [insert finger down throat here].

In the coming years, you may be tempted to do the following list of things. DO NOT! They are the trappings of everything mundane and lame about being an adult, and you must avoid, avoid, avoid(!) if you wish to retain your optimistic worldview, full of wonder and possibility and late nights and junk food.

The HOW NOT TO BE List:

1. Do not adopt a fatalistic world view.

Something happens between the age of 18 and 40 when it comes to the way people perceive and explain things. Fueled by curiosity, young people want to answer questions about how the world works with acute analysis and humor.

Full on grown ups answer almost every tough question with, “It is what it is.”

“It is what it is?” What?!? No. Sorry. No thanks. We like to think we can assert some control on our world, and “it is what it is” might be the least inspiring, most resigned little motto we’ve ever heard.

2. Do not buy those speakers that look like giant rocks.

Ahhh, the giant rock speakers. Honestly, if you must spend time, energy and money primping your future suburban patio, build a coy pond. There is just something very wrong about Santigold blasting out of a gigantic, plastic rock. Just, no.

3. Do not “abuse” quotation marks.

Why so many “adults” do this is beyond us. Didn’t they ever go to “school” and “learn” that “quotations” are for “dialogue” and sometimes for things that aren’t “really true,” so we put “quotes” around them to show that we don’t believe it?!?! Do they “do this” because they actually don’t believe that “half” of what they “say” or “write” is actually true?!?!? Adults need to learn about italics and bold, and not totally misuse quotation marks.

4. Do not respond questions about “you” with answers about “we.”

Question to Adult: “Where do you live, Matilda?”

Adult Answer: “We live in a condo on a lake. We like it there, but we think we need to repaint the exterior this summer to something a little more subdued, like a nice mauve.”

Ehem. Well, we at SparkNotes say Congratu-frickin-lations, Matilda, that you’ve actually managed to find a mate who shares your enthusiasm for mauve, but you are allowed to have your own personality and opinions!

5. Do not say, “I only read nonfiction.”

Well, well, well, what do we have here? A Mr. Serious? A Mr. Pretentious? A Mr. Anti-Imagination? Sorry, sir, we’re going to have to hit you over the head with that 900-page book about the Six Day War because we think taking the fantasy out of your library is a bad plan that results in you becoming a major snoozer of a dude. Sorry sir, FAIL.