Who else am I supposed to be anyway? I don't know how to be anyone else, and I can't imagine I'd be any happier as not me.
This is the problem: I feel like I'm "being myself," when I'm acting differently, dressing differently, listening to different music, reading different books, hanging with different people than "usual."
I enjoy all the things I do, the foods I eat, the music I try to play. so, even if I'm doing it because someone else I know did the same, I'm still being me.
I found a lovely quote today by Carl Sandburg.
"There are 10 men in me and I do not know or understand one of them."
I feel that way all the time. I am not just one person, with one personality.
Or rather, I don't just have one idea of who I am. I know who I am, and I can be anyone and anything.
I like to say to Lana, "I wish I was an Indie Kid."
Lana likes to say, "Just be yourself."
Myself could be an Indie kid. I know she probably means that I should do what comes naturally, but the truth is, everything comes naturally.
I feel as comfortable in sweats as a prom dress. I feel as comfortable in jeans as in a pencil skirt. I hardly ever feel like the clothes I'm wearing "aren't me."
Also, I found this. I wrote before pretty much anyone at all read my blogs, if you're interested: "this week."
3 comments:
I thought maybe you bought Vann's in an effort to look more Indie. I like you in all your different personalities, or most of them...
*Exasperated Sigh* I understand that there are many different versions of yourself that make up you. I can empathize because, I, like you, am an actress at heart and I can be anything I want because there are characteristics I possess that I could emphasize and become more fully that part of myself. However, saying you want to be indie is like that cartoon that you told me about. "Is this punk?" [kicks over trashcan] "No, now that's trendy." You understand me right? It's in poor taste, less classy than you are, more of a follower mentality, to verbalize such things. Emphasize the indie aspects of yourself instead... It's all in the way you express your desires I suppose... I love you.
I only like one or two of you and mostly you are the other 8 thats why we struggle so : )
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