hey there, hipster

This is a self-indulging post of both complaint and vanity. But first, allow an apology. I am sorry that I whine all the time about having no man to love me.
Last week I said to Eli, “The problem here is that everyone is beautiful, and really smart, and since I’m not good at music or sports, I have no upper hand and am no more desirable than any of them.”
“Weren’t you like beating us off everyday of high school?” asked Eli laughing, “I swear like half the time you needed to bring a baseball bat to school, and be like ‘down boys!’”
That made me feel a little better. Then I was rereading my journals. In high school I really did have boys asking me out all the time. I’ve just only had one boyfriend because I turned everyone down. That was comforting, I suppose. And last year I went on dates all the time, too, and during the spring I usually had about two dates a week, and even this semester I have been on several dates. Just not as many, –because all my guy friends are on missions—and not with anyone I’m interested in, so I tend to try and rule them out. But I do go on dates.
I do.
I went on one or two this weekend (depending on what you count, of course).
But, I don’t have a boyfriend, of course when I think about it, and I bet that if I allowed some of the boys that I know to like me, then I would have a boyfriend. Well, dang it. I don’t want them.
Does that make me overly picky? I’m afraid that it does. Sometimes I’m afraid that I will never be satisfied with what I can get.
Today on the way to school I talked to a very handsome young man. He was very tall, and had a slightly tired, unwashed look (in a good way), and he was wearing a pea coat and scarf. I love when boys are dressed in almost-Indie clothes. (He totally looked like he could be friends with Ryan. THAT type of boy is my favorite.) We walked and talked together all the way from the Riv to the Tanner Building, but then we went our separate ways. I have already forgotten his name, so how can I find him again? I feel like it may have been Paul, but I always think that mens’ names are Paul, because it’s one of my favourite name for men to have. It may have been, but I don’t think I even really heard his name, because I was focusing on both playing it cool, and trying to be funny.
See, you have to play it cool so they don’t try to avoid you, but you have to be funny, so they remember you.
Yeah, I know I over thought that, especially if trying to be cool and funny keeps me from being a good listener. WTF, Becky? Get with the program.
Oh, and I changed my mind, I take back my apology. I’m not sorry I complain all the time. I really do want someone, but you know, I am sorry that I’m so picky.
Sometimes.

Just for fun, I googled Hipster: I got a lot of this:
and this: (They look so annoyed with the world.)


But when I googled Indie:

See how charming those Indie-types look? So happy. But I had already picked out my title, and I still like it. So it's staying, even though Indie kids are obviously much more desirable than Hipsters.
Plus like a third of the Indie kids in America are Asian, and I love Asians. I wish I was Asian.
I wish Lisa was here.
I wish I was cool enough to land an Indie boyfriend.