ALERT- perchance there are spoilers ahead

This movie.
I will give you the set up.
A little girl: not unhappy, but angsty and disillusioned like all American children. She wants something better. (Also, she is supposed to be from Michigan, and she has the midwest accent DOWN. It was so well done, Dakota.)

She finds a little door that is bricked up during the day, but at night when her family is asleep, there is a tunnel leading to a beautiful version of her house.

With her "other mother," who bakes and gives her gifts.

and her "other father" who plays the piano and gardens.

It is a magical, perfect world that she can return to each night.

Except that it's not.
Except that this movie was SO stressful, and creepy, and I was scared out of my wits. (We know what a baby I am. I hear from others it wasn't as scary as I pretend, but that it was questionable whether or not PG was an appropriate rating.)
and yet,
It was excellent.
So well made. So well done.
Did you know that it was ALL STOP MOTION!?
Yeah. How freaking rad is that?
Terribly impressive.

Did I mention it was 3D? Travis almost peed his pants, it was so cool. (He's never been to a 3D movie with the cool glasses, he's only been to the blue/red ones, which are crappy.)
CHECK THIS OUT.

dang. I can't get it to link to it.
http://www.apple.com/trailers/focus_features/coraline/
that's the trailer.
watch it.

the cat is out of the bag

uh no.
i'm afraid of my home ward knowing that i have a boyfriend, because i know that it will be only a short time before i am pestered about the things that mormons love to pester other mormons about.
i have told a few people from my home ward. people that i like and trust, and talk to on a regular basis. that list is very short.
today i accidentally told Tina.
this is the tale of how it happened.
yesterday i lost my keys.
today when i got home, i realized that i still didn't have my keys.
i banged on my door for ten minutes, and i know my roommates were home, but no one answered the door.
i pedaled my cute new bike (as pictured here)
to the housing office to ask for help.
Tina was outside the office.

Tina: Hi Becky!
Becky: Hey Tina
Tina: That bike is SO cute.
Becky: Thanks, I got it for Valentine's day.
*moment of confused silence*
Tina: From your parents?
Becky: No. From my boyfriend.
*moment of stunned silence*
Tina: You have a boyfriend!? OH MY GOSH! I am shocked! Not that you have a boyfriend, but because OH MY GOSH. I didn't know you had a boyfriend.
*Mormon questions begin*
*Becky realizes her mistake*

so now my ward will know.

Also, I realized none of you had seen my cute bike. That's the real reason for this post. I made Lauren come outside and take my picture whilst being on my bike.
She took this one from her window. I am on the phone with her.
Calling to tell her to come outside and take my picture.

Lauren is sick.
She needs to stay in her home.
I'm at her home, too.
Yesterday I went to Travis's family's house.
Travis's mom said: How's Lauren? Where is she? I thought you were connected.
That is correct ma'am.
It's only a matter of time until your son and I are both sick, too. Yesterday I slept in Lauren's bed, and read her stories.
I don't feel sick yet.

"people don't choose to be sheltered."

I like to judge people who are super sheltered, because they don't understand so many things that I think are fundamental to both survival and happiness.
I was thinking of the little catchphrase mormons use: "Be in the world, but not of it."
but I think I have a different interpretation than most people.
I would say it's similar to saying: "Make the world, don't let it make you."

Here's what I thought about today:

I was sheltered. Yes, I knew a lot about sex, drugs, and rock and roll (I went to public school, after all, and had parents who were honest with me if I had questions about anything... not like I ever wanted to ask them.) Most of my friends were not mormon, and I when they said things or told dirty jokes I overheard them, (and went home to look things up online). But I didn't watch R-rated movies. I didn't swear . I understood the word of wisdom and law of chastity.
I had a pretty good balance, I'd say.

We live in the world. There is no getting around that. There's no reason that we should want to get around that, anyway. God made us a beautiful place to live, and filled it with beautiful people for us to live with.
We need to interact with and understand our societies, communities, culture, and politics, because even if we try not affect them, they will affect us. Schools teach our kids, communities keep them safe, politicians make decisions for them. We were never told to only love our neighbors if they love God, too. It is our responsibility to to be good citizens and neighbors, to be teachers, to do good, to spread the gospel. We can't do that if we are locked in our homes being "not of the world."

I am a product of what surrounds me. What I've read, where I've lived, who I've known, what I've listened to, seen, and said. I am a product of the world that surrounds me.
The big difference between the world that surrounds me, and the world that surrounds most people is that the gospel surrounds me, too.
Thus despite being "in the world," the world did not make me.

Did you see my lotus?
When we went to the Hare Krishna temple this summer, the tour guide told us of an important Hindu symbol. "It's like the mormon belief of being in the world, but not of it," he said.
The lotus flower lives in the water, yet it is not wet.
It cannot survive without the enviornment, and is an important part of the ecosystem.
Yet, it is not a part of the water. It is not surrounded, nor can it be consumed by the water.
The water and the lily are connected. The lily is on the water, the water flows through the lily.
But they are seperate.

I love this world. I love where I live, I love who I am, and what the world and the Lord have made me.
But I love that I can help to make the world, too.
The world wouldn't be the same without me, without any of us, and I'm going to try to make sure the difference I make will be a good one.

pleading for photoshop

when my computer fell it lost photoshop.

all i ever loved was photoshop.
photoshop for a mac: 189.95


so all I'm asking is this, if you have the photoshop discs lying around your home, let me steal them.
I don't even care if it's CS1.
Of course, CS4 would be phenomenal, but since I doubt I can get any Adobe at all, I will take what I can get.

Please, please, please.
If you have photoshop, can I have it too?

(on a second note, I also need word, if you have that lying around, but I'm much more distraught about not having photoshop.)

please.
thank you.

the epitome of cool

that's me.
I am the the epitome of cool. If you were wondering.

Yesterday my mom told me to stay away from the Coal Umbrella.
Today I bought myself sunglasses at the Coal Umbrella.
Can I help it they're so cheap, and so vintage, and that the sun is so derned bright?
No, sir. (or ma'am.)

Want to hear the things I did today that made me feel cool? Here:
I rode my bike to school, wearing a summer dress and cowboyish boots, listening to local indie music.
I went to French, where I ate a loaf of bread, and tried to converse with my bad accent.
I went to my writing class where I was praised as a genius. (kind of... okay, not really, but I did receive high compliments)
I ordered take-out Chinese food in CHINESE.
No. I didn't. That was a flat out lie. I ordered Chinese food in English. It was delicious.
I went with my documentary-film-making boyfriend to the Pennyroyal, and Sego and the Coal Umbrella to conduct interviews, and discuss becoming more personally involved in making Provo be artsy and cool. All of the people that own and work at these venues recognize me on sight and some of them know me by name.
They all freaking love Travis and all want him to work with them making podcasts, videos, and the like.

(Let me take this moment to advertise. If you live in Provo, GO TO THE GALLERY STROLL. It is awesome. It is in downtown Provo on the first Friday of every month, from like 6-10. Everywhere opens up with art, most of it local. The Coleman Studios, Sego, even a church, and almost everywhere has food and music and awesome things happening.)

We rode Travis's scooter all about Provo.
Yeah, I know. Rad right?

I got myself some cheap sunglasses.
ZZ Top would be pleased, I think.
That's all I could ever ask for.

Headlines of Tomorrow: an immodestly dressed English major attacks some douchey boy by the JSB

Today I wore a lovely skirt that I bought at the coal umbrella, and my lovely purple/brown boots. My skirt fell just at the top of my knees. I was walking to class, holding my umbrella (which, yes, is also adorable) and feeling really good about life.
It was raining.
I had exercised the night before.
I had read my scriptures, done my homework.
Gotten up on time, and showered even.
I saw Chris and Claire, and then had a good first class.

As I walked, happily humming to the Fionn Regan playing on my iPod, a boy that I did not know, walked by me. He shoved me. Yes, SHOVED me, and yelled, "Your skirt's too short!"

IS THIS A FREAKING JOKE?

I called to tell my mother, and the first thing she asked was, "You didn't yell 'F YOU!' Did you?"
No, don't worry, I was caught too off-guard to think of any obscenities.
These are things I thought of soon after, but had lost my chance to yell:
screw you
up yours
you're a freaking douche, bastard.

I'm sorry this post is full of anger. I honestly cannot handle the BYU belief that if you see someone doing something that you do not approve of, then it is your duty to fix the problem.
Thank you, Honor Code police, but I'm not even breaking any of your mental, utilitarian, obsessive, nit-picky rules.

today sunday school was 15 minutes long,

so that Relief Society could be an hour and a half.

this is why:
a few weeks ago, little notecards were passed through the room. "Write down a question that you have for the stake presidency, and in two weeks the stake will come and go through all your questions."
I pondered over my little card.
The first thought that honestly came to mind?
"I know that Transfiguration and Resurrection are different, but a Transfigured body still is transformed to its perfect state. If no one could be resurrected until after Christ's resurrection, why could people be transfigured?"
I thought about it for a while, and then decided that it wasn't important to know at the time. "I'll look it up," I thought to myself, "or ask a religion prof later this week. I don't need my stake president to try and explain it to my whole Relief Society."

want to hear some of the precious gems of questions asked? the questions all focused on two things, strange doctrine and dating advice:

dating questions and answers included:
what was one thing you noticed and liked about your wife that is important in your relationship now? patience

what should you do if the match seems like it was made in heaven, but just doesn't feel right? oh, that's a hard one.... (no, he did not say, "break up. if it's not meant to be, then it's not meant to be.")

how long should you date someone before you get married? you should date until you know they're not the one, if you never feel that way, get married. (I'm sorry, but I would think he would say, date until you know he's the one. Then get married.)

what suggestions do you have for me to get a guy to ask me out? make yourself available to men. let them know that you are looking for a boyfriend. (Yeah. That was the real answer. Then a girl said "You can always ask a boy on date, it doesn't need to be a big deal, if you want to go out, ask him." to which the Stake President replied, "No, don't ask them on a date. Instead get your roommates together and feed him and his roommates dinner. After you get to know each other HE will ask YOU on a date." Really, prez, is that a promise? Also, really, Ladies, you want to ask a fifty year old man, who's been married for thirty years for dating advice?)

is it okay to flirt? Is it okay to flirt aggressively? no. no flirting is not okay. (but remember, make yourself available. let them know you're interested.)

is it okay to date a friend if you don't intend on marrying them? no.

how important is it to be physically attracted to someone you're dating? it's not very important. It's really only important to be attracted to their other qualities. (I can't even begin to describe how much this bothered me. He said several times "make yourself more attractive [YES HE DID] he said "If you see someone and think they're attractive, try to change yourself to be more like them." Then he said "Physical attraction is not important.")

i've been told never to turn down a date. when is it okay to say no? never. (no. you may not say no to creepy boys, and weirdies. I interrupted and said "You should never go on a date that you feel guilted into, boys would rather be told than given a pity date." and then I was judged, and shot dirty looks.)

in response to the last question a girl asked what if a boy keeps asking and asking and you keep saying yes, because you don't want to hurt his feelings? is it okay to say no then? under some extreme circumstances, boys need to have it explained to them. (if you keep saying no forever, then you will end up married to that boy.)

i'll spare you the questions about deep, false doctrine, and the deep false answers that were given.
i love this church, i love the gospel, but let me just say
too many people at byu (teachers and students alike) are really confused about simple things, and even more confused about things that have no relavance, and do not need to be understood. SO many questions today were asked about being sealed, and one of the things that i heard that really upset me (because it was wrong) was that apparently if i die after being married, and my husband lives and is married to someone else, and then in the afterlife I have a hard time accepting the second wife then my only choise is to reject the blessings of being sealed and live alone in the terrestial kingdom.
WHAT? really.
come on.
I don't mean this to be one of "those posts," but let me just say that i know my heavenly father loves me, and will make sure that we're all happy in the next life.
that is all.
happy sabbath.

Because my 17 year old sister makes 12 dollars an hour

working at a private school, and I make 8.20 serving food, and 8.35 modeling for a private university.

Today I did math.
Here's my idealistic number: 5,760.
For what? you ask.
For this: let's say that this summer I have a full time job making 8 an hour.
40 a week at 8= 320
let's say 18 weeks= 5,760

Now let's be realistic, shall we?
Let's say I only really work 15 weeks, because I decide to take a trip to Minnesota, and Montana, and California. That's three weeks goodbye.
4,800

take away 60 dollars a month for my phone bill (240)
take away at least half of my dentist bill (300)
take away 150 a month for rent (600)
and then take 50 a month for groceries, gas, and what ever else I waste my money on (200)
a trip to Minnesota (300)
a trip to California (150)

My bank account at the end of September could potentially have
3010
take away 10% for tithing
2709

how much will the government take?
I'm going to give them 200, because I'm not actually sure:
2509.

I feel pretty good about that.

I know that it's a pittance, but really. When's the last time I had 25 hundred to save?

BTW, my rich sister Mary doesn't have to pay rent or buy her own food.
and she makes almost 4 dollars an hour more than I.

dang.

concerning bikes

(This is Bruno. The cutest child actor to ever emerge from Italy.)




I think bikes are lovely.
I love when I see people ride by on beach bikes, or bikes with baskets.
There are charming. They are pretty. They are cute and summery.
Did I mention in my Valentines day post that my boyfriend bought me a beautiful, blue beach bike with a bell? (say that five times fast)
Well he did. I love it. It is pretty. When I ride it, I feel cute.
Until this morning, though, it was living at his house.
I stole this picture of Claire's blog ages ago because I thought it was cute.
Recently I stole THIS picture of Claire's blog because it made me happy.


The idea of bikes makes me happy.

Unfortunately, whenever I try to ride a bike uphill, (or even on flat surfaces for a long distance) I begin to contemplate suicide.

Today I was tricked.
"Hey, do you want a ride to school today?" asked Travis.
"Yes please," said Becky.
"Okay," said Travis, "I'm leaving work now. I'll swing by my place and get some things, fill up the scooter, and be right over."
"Okay, yay!" said Becky. "By the way, we should get my bike soon, I want it at my house."
"Consider it done."
"Thanks! See you soon!"

That sounds like I was going to get a ride to school, didn't it? It sounded like I would get to ride the scooter, which is just like a bike, but faster and involving way less work. I LOVE the scooter, because of the little bit of work involved.

Then Travis came, and we biked to school.
I had to.
I had missed the bus, assuming I would have a car to transport me to French.
The beginning and end were fine. The middle was up a HILL!

But biking home freaking kicked butt. and I looked darling.
If I do say so.
Bikes make people more cute.
Unless the bike looks like this:Or like this:
Happy:


See? pictures of cute bikes holding still?
Also: look. MORE happy:

English

I LOVE some classes at BYU, and DREAD others. Yet I usually get about the same grade in each.
(and let me tell you, it's not a pretty grade).
This is especially true of English classes, J'adore mes classes anglaises. (Lana, Lauren, Chris, Kendra, come on, is that right? I try to speak French.)
I am bad at French.
And yet I'll probably get similar grades in Shakespeare and French.
But I do have one class that I am relatively sure I will pass with high marks: Writing Literature for Children and Adolescents.
For this class we need to read about 15 young adult novels, (I'm on 6 or 7), help edit each others papers. (We're all English majors, so we're all pretty brutal), and have enough pages of our own novel written to submit the beginning to a publisher.
I'm writing a fictitious story of two sisters, growing up in the midwest.
They are not Mary and me.
Sometimes, of course, they are very similar to Mary and me.

I have a little over fifty pages written, and fifty more (hopefully) by the end of the semester.
Unless I decide to try to finish the story. Then, who knows?

This is my main problem, I get really into my story, and today I was working on a conflict, and I started to cry, because my character was so frustrated.
Is that normal?
I reread it, and did not cry.
I am pretty positive that no one else will read it and cry.
I was just so caught up in Margaret's emotions, that even though I was having an awesome day, I felt heartbroken and sad.

Anyway, I thought I'd tell you about it.
If you want to read it, shoot me an email and I will consider it.

Also, my roommate just said these words "Becky, I'm going to try to be home early tomorrow to do all my dishes, because we have cleaning checks, and I know you have the sink, but if I'm not home, you can just shove them all in the cupboard under the sink."
me: "Yeah, that's not going to happen."
becca: "What?"
me: "I think that's repulsive, and if they're still there, they won't be put under the sink."
becca: "well, okay. I'll try to figure something out."

a little worried

to be a great writer do i need to be insanely creepy looking?

warm weather, baby.

summer.
it's coming and i can't wait.

i love the winter.
i love the cold.
i can't even say that i'm sick of the snow, yet.
i really do still like having it around.

however,
this summer is going to be lovely, and i am so excited.
i am insanely pumped for our california road trip at the end of the semester.
i cannot wait to go home to minnesota and see everyone.

i am in love with all my skirts and shorts and t-shirts that i can't wear now.
i am excited to be tan.
i am ready to go swimming.

yesterday we took out travis's scooter, because it was pretty warm.
it was also pretty cold.

soon, it will not be pretty cold.

yesterday was a good day.
today will be a good day, too.
probably tomorrow.

but summer will be full of good days.

hmph.

i notice that i only have 16 followers. yet i also have a new follower.
this is the second time someone has decided to stop following my blog.

it's not a big deal.
but i'd rather i had 18 readers over 16, so i could pretend i was more popular.

that's all.

i cry.

Sophie and the Pussycats

Sometimes, I am just like the people I claim to hate.
Stay tuned for a behind the scenes exclusive!

v-day. (the good kind)

Here's the down low.
I am going to list all the things we did, and support each thing with a photo or two. The above is to show our photo-taking incompetence. Really, everything turned out goofy.
First, not actually on Valentines day, I got this lovely Valentine bowl filled with candy from Travis's mom. Yay! First things first, I ate all the sweet tarts.
Then yesterday I slept in late (9:30, that's a big deal for me.) Travis came to get me at 11, and brought me a rose. We went to Kneaders, (but they were done serving breakfast,) and saw Kendra, Bethany, and Casey, all of us apparently had the same thoughts, because five minutes later we were all at Magleby's for breakfast.
Travis got us a free orange juice because they screwed up our order, and it took like forty minutes to get our food. Yet, it was delicious!
Then we built a fort. Yeah we did. Unfortunately, my roommates had to politely come out and ask us to clean it up. (really?)
We read Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, and then ate lunch and then watched a movie in our sweet fort.
We went afterward to Gloria's Little Italy (an hour and a half long wait), and it was very good. Long armed Travis took this awful picture for us.
They gave everyone a flower. I tried to take cute pictures holding it, but they all looked silly, blurry, and dark.
Then we went to Muse where our talented and beautiful friend Maude was performing. She's only 16, yet pretty much the coolest person any of us have ever met. Today I think we're forming a band.
By we I mean, Maude, my boyfriend, and two of my best friends. I will come along, and try to encourage them/think of a band name.
This is a bunch of us at Muse. Though Ryan, Catherine, and Jacob Johnson were all there.
In fact, Jacob Johnson's band played right after Maude. Best part of the evening? When Jacob Johnson took out his book, and sat on the stage reading while the band kept playing for like 15 more minutes. Awesome.
Then we went to Lauren and Sophie's and ate leftovers and watched short films.
All in all.
A good day.

a good day

haha. pictures and stories to come.
now i have to go to church.

Today in French class

two men got up during the lesson and left quietly, and then, a little later one came back.
"I'm sorry," he interrupted the class. "Does anyone have some consecrated oil? Darrin needs a blessing."
Three boys got to their feet and left with him.
The rest of the class was pretty much girls.
And one giant of a man named Chris.

How lovely to be somewhere where if ever I need a priesthood blessing, all I need to do is ask.

bringing baby home from the hospital

beyond happy.
i am so beyond happy.


i am being bad now.
i should be doing homework right now. i'm not, and soon travis will be over with amélie, and we're going to watch that instead of homework.

as you may know, my computer fell from about three feet off the ground to the kitchen floor. i brought it to the apple store in SLC to ask what the cost was.
no cost.

my computer was fixed for free. these are the things they did:
i got a new hard drive.
a completely new keyboard and cover plate.
they appear to have fixed my disk drive (since now it works)
and they gave me LEOPARD!
Heck yes they did.
that program is over a hundred dollars alone, and I have it on my wonderfully brand new computer.

things that are sad:
i lost all my music, and pictures.
i lost some programs, like Word, and Photoshop

things that are happy:
i didn't lose any documents, which is essentially what i was worried about.
that stuff is priceless (to me, at least), and quite frankly - as a writer (which is what i claim to be) it is my life. it exists nowhere else, while my pictures are on most of my friends/families computers somewhere.
and all that music i can just steal again.
already on the car ride home i burned about a hundred songs.
i feel so good.
way too good to do homework.
i just want to play on my beautiful baby.
i think that is what i will do.

sorry shakespeare.
and french.

Stop complaining that I don't post often enough.

Like four people have complained.

Good grief. I post like thrice a day.

Jesse

I can't handle it anymore.

Travis won't let me make fun of him, which is okay, because I like Jesse, I just also find myself insanely giggly every time I go to Travis's house.

Travis and I will be downstairs, and quiet little Jesse comes in the door. He may politely say hello, and shuffle into the kitchen, wearing socks that are patterned like the British flag, and complain that they are no clean dishes. He will find chopsticks instead of washing silverwear, and maybe even look confused for a moment before wandering upstairs. (That's the thing, he always seems to be meandering, as if he's not actually intent on a specific destination.)

He will be upstairs for like one second before there is an insanely loud blast of "hard punk screamo" music (according to Travis). Sometimes it's the All-American Rejects, Jimmy Eat World, but usually they're songs and bands that I don't know at all. Currently he is "bum bum bum bumming" out the Star Wars theme song in the kitchen, wearing striped pants and a bright yellow shirt that says "STOKED."

The wonderful thing about Jesse, though, isn't his constant music playing, it's that 24/7 he is singing along. He sings along at the top of his lungs, and if he happens to wander back downstairs (as he just did) he is always playing the air guitar. Always.

If the music upstairs is screaming, so is Jesse. If there's a heavy beat, then Jesse is banging things together upstairs. For real. There is so much noise coming always from up there that it's impossible for me to not be constantly laughing.

Travis gets offended, I think. Jesse doesn't notice.

Another wonderful thing about Jesse singing is that he has a very high and airy voice.

Everything he sings is wonderful.

Today I heard him singing for about five hours straight.

That is not an exaggeration. It is awesome.

blog stalk

I know you read my blog.

who let the dogs out?

this morning when i woke up i had baha men stuck in my head.
too bad i haven't had a baha men cd since elementary school.